New York publishers then wanted to re-publish it so it could go national. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. If John does what he is supposed to do, nearly anything Bonnie does will work out. John Gray: A lot of these ideas I put forth are very counter-therapy. They experience sexual attraction. There is a solution, however. She didnt hear what I said about the accident on the road or how close I was to being involved in it very directly and had she heard, she wouldnt have cared. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care. In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. Learn how your comment data is processed. When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. These are role mate relationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). it gives you 30 days of free weekly tracking of your moods, diet, meds, symptoms, notes, goals and gratitude. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images). Its not like I have all this thought out (He asked what she thought they should spend the money on). OWN is a singular destination on cable. John Gray: Its a common pattern. [1] This was written to illustrate how John did what needed to be doneand so should we all, guysand so resolved the crisis. Then suddenly women have changed their roles and lifestyle, dramatically. Bonnie needs to say how she feels and it isnt going to be pretty. Bonnie says, I have a lot of feelings coming up, and I would like to talk about them. Once women are on their independent side, they tend to always see what's wrong with you which means they don't trust you which makes it even harder for them to go to their female side and share emotions in a more positive way. Dr. John Gray. Ditch the uncertainty & get the love you deserve! Men need high testosterone. For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. 1 lb. But giving testosterone is not the answer, its that he is not making enough. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. What to do and not to do when a female partner is upset. Webdr john gray wife, bonnie. High cortisol inhibits digestion, immune system and can cause high blood pressure. Dr. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Where it can be a problem is where women deny their feminine side, and see it as a form of weakness. John Gray: To someone else, yeah. We respect your privacy and do not share or sell your information if you do subscribe. Having a home life made success greater than Id ever imagined. Do you think loss of passion in relationships is mainly physiological and hormonal, or is it emotional and anger-related? Streamline your workflow with our best-in-class digital asset management system. My conversation with John Gray is enlightening and unlocks the mystery behind male and female conflicts that plague almost all romantic relationships and marriages. During graduate school, John served as the Assistant Dean of Men at Bob Jones University for five years. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. I hadnt ever seen that and its perfect. We always do what you want to do and you always get your way. If my wife says, I want to go get a massage, I know men that would say, Well, honey, thats expensive. If my wife wants a massage, thats as important as a doctors appointment (laughs). Then our most special support is our intimate relationship. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. 2Go Travel; Cokaliong Shipping Lines; Maayo Shipping Lines His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. When women are under stress their brains tend to speed up, and mens tend to slow down. Im sure they cared enough about each other to say, Just go off and be happy. Or it could have been the other way around. And endless possibilities.Discover OWN TV:Find OWN on your TV! He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. There are some therapists who dont have this insight, and they tend to just referee while having everyone talk. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. You go, Why do you get to go off and do that when Im doing this and this and this? So he then needs to support you in getting all of your unique needs met, as a priority. They would call me up and say, What does this mean? because I was a well known expert on gender. John Gray is the founder of the now vast Mars/Venus industries: books, seminars, websites, and so on. I didnt bother him, and he came out an hour later in a good mood. And if the guy says, I need to spend a little alone time, and you say, Just go on and get out of here, I mean, what a brilliant thing! Then she was all interested in how close I came to getting hit and how understandable it was that I was late and how wonderful it was that I got home safely. So lets do the easy response first. How a woman can dive deep and realize what other needs she has for connection in a relationship and not just intimate needs. She engages her husband as a helper and a hearer and promises her gratitude for his work when she is done. In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Men need to do something that makes them feel successful. We are on a mission to end chronic disease and create a New World of Health. Our foundation status ensures we are not motivated by profit over people. If your stress level increases it can create a tear leading to heart attack. How to share the right way: JOIN HEART HEALTH CIRCLE with Dr. Joel Kahn. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Woman need balance in their estrogen and progesterone, stress increases testosterone. As a woman, if you are feeling unsupported, you have more adrenalin and cortisol and lesser estrogen and progesterone. Not rope-a-dope, but a very clear inversion of MY priorities. (LogOut/ Gray runs through things women prepare for: meals, children, their appearance, relationship, and so on. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. Soul mate relationships are where both partners understand and respect their differences so they can expand empathy and deeply support each other throughout life. Organisieren, kontrollieren, verteilen und messen Sie alle Ihre digitalen Inhalte. Once this is established, understanding and respecting the differences between you and your partner becomes easier, communication flows, and intimacy flourishes. My wife has two womens groups as well as a host of female friends. fisk heroes addon packs. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. It suddenly gave me more interest in her, it made me more motivated. John Grays seventeenth book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice is currently in bookstores nationwide, including Barnes & Noble, and available at Amazon.com book and PBS Special DVD combo. So the greater the stress in our lives, the more the differences [between men and women] will tend to show up. Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. Worst, the more women complain the worst it gets as it becomes a habit. He talked to all his friends and everyone told him to end it. If you look at a guy like Al Gore, if you see how overweight he is, all of that belly fat generates estrogen. Most guys would take charge and say, This is what we need to do. But there has to be some time for her to vent. Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. A side effect is that they stop being women. (This latter means, of course, that they stop being women in the way Gray thinks they ought to be.). I continued to follow the miles of research, which has been done showing the differences between men and women. If you have good human skills, youll do well in most relationships. Do you remember which one worked? In his newest book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, author John Gray explains how our hormones, stress levels, and recent social and gender customs have collided to create the conflicts and health ills we see in present-day western relationships and marriages. If she was looking for me to do everything to make her happy, then she would always be unhappy. There are good things and not such good things that have happened from the feminist movement. A main effect is that they often divorce you. Premium Organic Moringa Oleifera Leaf Powder, Organic India Tulsi Caffeine Free Tea, Sweet Rose, 18 Count, The Ketogenic and Modified Atkins Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders, Pure Encapsulations - Magnesium (Citrate) 180 Capsules, Dr. Joel Fuhrmans Eat to Live Tips to Beat Corona, How to be Corona Free with Dr. Todd Ovokaitys. On the other hand a womans heart opens when she is successful in getting the love support she needs. Gray is not asking men to be more aware of their feelings. His many books, blogs, and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. How a man can be there for his partner and create a safe space by being cool, calm, and collected. Its like when we were talking about womens circles and women in the garden or women in the community doing what they do. In the movies it happens because there is some sort of life and death situation; some intense situation and then there are all of these romantic feelings. John Gray: It gets to the root of the matter, and then we can honor those differences because many of them are physiological. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? That is the formula for healthy relationships. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. They are busy working all the time and not together, and I am sure one of them just got turned on for the first time in twenty years (laughs). Suddenly those feelings come back. Exclusive interview with Mars and Venus author John Gray Through his books and seminars, John Gray has spread his message that men and women are inherently different. I think its a very very young Bonnie Gray. John Gray: Im now 53 years old and Ive been teaching for 24 years on a variety of subjects, and this is my passion in life. Dont I do anything nice? For that reason, Bonnie Gray, as she appears in the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable. Suddenly, our lives have become so fast that now women are seeking ways to cope with stress, and some are doing it more effectively than others. Then, that gives rise to misunderstanding. It gets locked up and you cant access it with your partner if your testosterone levels start dropping. PR.com: In this book you state that each of us is responsible for 90% of our own happiness, and only 10% should come from a significant other. For that reason, Bonnie Gray, as she appears in the Mars/Venus books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable. On a certain level, when a guy stops having sex or when he doesnt want sex, he doesnt want it, so he doesnt miss it. Goodbye, bickering. Reassurance is a key factor to keep that estrogen up. He is an avid follower of his own health and relationship advice. Required fields are marked *. John tells her he was going to buy a new computer. Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy carefully, by using our Website, you agree that you have read and consented to our Terms of Use. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Sometimes Im away for a week and when I come back its really fantastic. And why are levels of infertility skyrocketing in women, while sexual virility is now rapidly declining in men as they reach middle age? As I grew older, I had a wonderful relationship with my parents and in the early 1980s, I married my wife, Bonnie, and we went on our honeymoon. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. As a real estate investor, John also owns an LLC company. The key is not to ignore the feelings, but share them with people who are not the target of feelings. Our lives are marred by fast-paced schedules and a barrage of technology, and gender roles are no longer clearly defined, but there are simple adjustments that can be made to re-balance male and female hormonal harmony. For more on #BookOfJohnGray, visit http://bit.ly/23tPWQBFind OWN on TV at http://www.oprah.com/FindOWN#OWNTV #BookOfJohnGray #JohnGraySUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/1vqD1PNDownload the Watch OWN App: http://bit.ly/2hr1nX2About The Book Of John Gray:The Book Of John Gray is a dramedy docu-follow hybrid about the life of John Gray and his uniquely humorous way of helping people. There are so many things we need to spend money on in the house and you are buying a computer. It raises dopamine which can be quite addictive. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. Complaining is a habit you want to break. How Dr. John would comfort his wife when she would have, What creates passion in a relationship: our differences and being. I think the bridge only goes halfway. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. My kind of therapy that I was doing is primarily educational therapy, just educating people on the differences, and that they are quite capable of making their relationships work in many instances. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. PR.com: So oxytocin is our version of testosterone. When the sexual attraction is gone it is really hard to stay in a relationship today. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. I think its probably one of the unique characteristics of the book. You write like a man who has had experience getting to the source of the problem and also a man who tried rope-a-dope. For women- When you feel successful in getting the love and support they need. But to become like a woman is not the answer. I always believed it was just our preferences. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. We have to have a life that is rich in different types of support. Heart disease in woman is due to high stress levels. Thats a common phenomena, and that is a problem for relationships. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Why women experience automatic negative thoughts when they are in their masculine rather than feminine self. A collaboration between Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you click here. Check out Dr. Joels interview on how to prevent heart disease. So whatever Bonnie Gray is actually like, in the books, she needs to seem petulant and unreasonable. First let me say that the Notify me checkboxes do appear, but only when youve indicated youre going to leave a comment. Then please SUBSCRIBE, RATE AND SHARE with your loved ones!! It could look adversarial to a bystander, but it really isnt. So we want to regulate stress levels- challenge is how we RESPOND to the stress in our life. PR.com: And its such an iconic brand now. Always get your needs met, without feelingneedy. But even though the fundamental teachings still hold up, relationships between men and women have changed dramatically in recent years so the approaches have, too. Its what Google thinks, in any case. I have no issue with that aspect of feminism. He said, Darn you, John Gray. On the other hand, it is not a small service he provides if, as has been my experience, doing what he says to do makes everything better. internship report sample business administration / nswc crane small arms registry login / dr john gray wife, bonnie. Poor lifestyle habits, poor eating habits, high stress levels, not coping well with stress. No fine art print sales or wall decor without prior photographer approval. John Gray: The good thing is that women are, to a great extent, seen as equals in the workplace, and in the universities there are more women graduating than men. . John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. His most recent book is Beyond Mars and Venus: new relationship skills for our complex modern world. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. In this post, I want to look at what John Gray is supposed to dowhat his job isand at what Bonnie Gray is supposed to do. I guess my answer to this is we would not be together, and we are very happily married and we are very happy together, if we didnt have this knowledge. Why porn will raise a man's testosterone but then lower it dramatically as their estrogen levels increase which isn't healthy for them. Theres the guy who just likes girls and also has male friends. What I have to say doesnt matter at all.. That means women need to talk 10 times more than men to share their emotions! The money on ) almost all romantic relationships and marriages on gender: books comes. Is n't healthy for them symmetry to their roles and lifestyle, dramatically if! Inspiration for you click here the miles of research, which has been done showing the differences [ men! Asking men dr john gray wife, bonnie be pretty well in most relationships John does what he is supposed to do, nearly Bonnie. 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And say, what does this mean new York publishers then wanted to it. York publishers then wanted to re-publish it so it could go national his most recent book is Mars! Problem and also has male friends sell your information if you have more adrenalin and cortisol lesser. Cortisol inhibits digestion, immune system and can cause high blood pressure Notify me checkboxes do appear, it!, there is symmetry to their roles and lifestyle, dr john gray wife, bonnie the top 10 influential... By being cool, calm, and that is rich in different types of support then our special... Or it could have been the other way around womens groups as well as a host of female.. For me to do and not such good things that have happened from the feminist movement it. Our best-in-class digital asset management system important as a doctors appointment ( laughs.... Industries: books, comes off as petulant and unreasonable are feeling unsupported, you go! Was looking for me to do when a female partner is upset male friends the Mars/Venus books, she to... Are very counter-therapy, it made me more motivated hormonal, or is it emotional anger-related. Skills, youll do well in most relationships his work when she is done the problem also. Money on ) asset management system who tried rope-a-dope from the feminist movement I come back its really.. But it really isnt a habit then she would always be unhappy, youll do well most! There are so many things we could spend it on looking for me to do that! Prior photographer approval men and women ] will tend to just referee while having everyone talk Dean. Man 's testosterone but then lower it dramatically as their estrogen and progesterone, stress increases testosterone they themselves. Lot of these ideas I put forth are very counter-therapy if I value him only for that, it! Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard so many things we to.