I said no. Despite all of that, he manages to capture the hearts of those that perhaps will be in his life a few hours. When you are sick you deserve to have someone that does the things that show they care about your health and well being. I have made myself the central focus in our relationship. He would scream at me if I touched him that I was killing him. Overall I think she has issues that a therapist would help with, but that will definitely end up in a fight. Everyone understood, his friends, our friends and they wondered why it took me so long. The unfinished projects and dreams. If I wasn't able to mock her and call her out in the moment, it might've developed into some nasty resentment. I often try to put myself in his shoes and think "God I am so happy I am not like that". Because in his mind, I'm supposed to be taking care of him.not the other way around. I bet if I got cancer he'd go "Great! I understand what you mean. Consequences. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. So he's taking it easy today and napping on and off. But somehow he feels as my fault that I'm this way as if I can do something to change the circumstances. I handle everything around the house, she My A-Hole ex Husband was a jerk to me when I broke my foot the year before we divorced. In the first instance, you get his buy in. Getting mad or saying nasty things when someone is sick or injured suggests the same disorders. Stop selling your soul for sex, money or a sense of security. You also don't have a role model to teach or even show you HOW to connect. I suppose the bottom line is that we have to decide what we will tolerate and make life decisions based on our limits. THAT, was fear. I have learned from him that I have always mothered him and even though I am awesome, I have given so much with littleeffort in return because he is hyperfocused on his priorities. And one of the most troubling scenarios where you see this is when the wife becomes so upset that she cries and the husbands response is indifference, anger, frustration, or denial. Being a victim keeps him justified in his anger at the world, that life didn't treat him fair, and no one gave him what he DESERVED ,because he deserved so much more than he got. What? When someone is sick or injured.I'm first respondentjust so you know? Remind her of how bad you feel and how much you'd appreciate her help while you recover. Set up a way for it to not be inconsistent. I love(d) H, and love (past, present and future)our children, our grandchildren, art, my business, my home. I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours. Acknowledge the wrongdoing. Describe what you did, and why it was wrong.Promise not to do it again. Mean it.Ask for forgiveness. I am learning to put myself first so I will show him where the meds are and head off to work. I could barely limp about and it was rapidly getting worse. That's not even in my nature.". He went and played soccer that night when I was feeling my worst. to stand on my own and realize that until he gets help, this will not change and so it was time to live and grow and be "the mistress of my domain and my life". Sure, my H would love the extra attention and more positivity but the very sad fact is that I have had to live my life on guard. Sign #9: He treats you like everyone else. ADHD, doesn't give you the liberty of that most of the time. Basically, if your partner doesnt have your back, things will start to crumble fast. Best Sex Positions to Improve Your Sex Life. I had to think this morning, while again looking at the impossible job staring me in the face here at the house. Expecting him to set aside time to connect is really unrealistic, he would rather use his time to waste on any nonsensethat does not require him to connect with his spouse or children. If you are in the full My husband is terrible when it comes to this. I need to see if Iam wrong about this. I know some have stated this, others have said the opposite. 2 months ago I had a Hysterectomy. When the youngest was very ill, diagnosed with multiple strains of Lyme disease, other tick borne infections like Erlichia, I was really afraid. He literally goes deaf ears when I tell him Im sick. He still chose to run to a young girl fresh out of college, and fun, carefree who didn't know anything about him, who thought he was the most amazing man on earth. Nearly 17% were estranged from a member of their immediate family. He didn't take me to the hospital, just put me back to bed. Iris is also an Invisible Illness Warrior. If I could boil down the difficulties, it really does come down to lack of love as you described. I agree his kids should come first. I emotionally detached from my husband, hated him for being in the way and making this emotional affair uncomfortable. You are very caring and shower her with affection and loveYou respect her parents and treat them wellYou respect your wife and support her to achieve her dreamsYour presence makes her feel happy (because she loves you so much)She considers you as her soulmateShe feels safe and secure to be with youShe trust you so muchMore items Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I still picked up one of the children after school, and stopped off at a second hand shop to purchase crutches for myself - they almost rolled their eyes at that when they got home from work! We have our moments of some connection, but the feeling is still a bit hollow and short lived. That's my two bits and I'm sticking too it. I did just that, and was starting to fall asleep almost at work I so exhausted, my company was worried about me, and I told my husband I wanted to go on medical leave, that I couldn't do it anymore. We want to hear your story. Im the one who stays home all day while you go to work for 40or more hours a week and then still find the energy to come home and take care of me and the house. Isn't THAT ironic? You love me. Submitted by Jr4par83 on Mon, 11/23/2020 - 21:27. He is loved by many, not evil. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! Or begging him to drive you home. I can understand mentionin I gave him other numbers to call of other therapist and he put the cards aside. Make him whatever type of soup he wants, bring him medicine, rub his head etc. I know this may sound "corny", lol, but I don't think I'm too off base with this. I was too kind, wanting to help TOO much, and didn't set boundaries. Some people grow up where you cuddle the sick person til they're better, other will have them stay in a room and slide in food like they're in prison, and everywhere in between. I hope your foot heals soon and that you're getting approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere. Blank. I could have written pages and pages in response. H's definition of love is thisafter I asked him "What does love mean to you?" Although Melissa's suggestions have some merit for a couple where there is active treatment adherence, I don't have much hope of change in my relationship with someone who never gives a thought to anyone else but himself. The garage is large, and I can barely walk through it from all his tools and projects all over the floor. He despises sickness- like it is a form of weakness or something. After 25 years of nursing, and seeing many faithful spouses by the sides of sick people, it is clear my husband is not one of them! Threatening to get seriously ill and find ways to make dad a villainboth deeply traumatizing things to do to your own kids. And no, it s not all about the relationship dynamics and avoiding my wrath, etc. He is generous to others but asks me when I can pay him back. It is obvious that ADD people rarely change for any measurable amount of time. I am choosing my battles now and choose to disconnect my emotions from my reality and continue to progress, better myself and finally live. When my husband started his first affair, I WAS a good woman. Ihave neglected you. And vice versa. I dont know why, but for some reason, you chose to love me, and illness or no illness, it doesnt even weigh on your opinion and feeling of and for me. You may want to reflect on your needs when you are sick as an adult. How would he manage without me, his Bandaid? Anyway, I got way off track here. He sees the painted parts and not the unpainted parts, because to him this is a lot of work. Like I was some animal in the Zooand he was just coming to see the specimen out of curiosity. Yes my H also has ADHD, but it's not ADHD that causes his horrible behaviors, particularly when I'm sick/injured. Female here sick and tired of whiny twats like you. We've been married 17 years. So, I left him for the very same thing, he used to protect himself from having someoneleave him. Can totally relate to your post. I hear you, I cant count the number of times my husband made it very clear that myillness was a hughinconvenience for him there was no thought to how it made me feel. If she chooses to start an argument or to not be sympathetic, you can suggest counseling together. I have learned that I am valuable independentlyand I have a great job, great family and friends and that my life is NOT about simply about him and he no longer makes my world go round, I do. Talk to her and use 'I need" statements. Of course. Are you 5 years old? WebMaybe he's the kind of person who doesn't want to be bothered when he's sick. (Although I didn't make him do the dishes). And that look on his face is what I will always remember. I have that kind of love with my children - simple, all encompassing, comfortable, aware, connected, attentive and involved it is possible to have it and I think it is a normal and natural human endeavor. All I have to say about that is..THAT..is some Fucked Up Shit.right there!! My husband will care for me if I'm sick, and go get me things I need, which I really do appreciate, and I always thank him for this. Now I'm going to get sick! But, he can't get past the victim hood yet. If that had been me standing there coming to see me after all of that? My husband doesn't think anyone in the world gets sick but him (which I think is common in men). I know your relationship is more complex than what I'm reading here in your postand it's not my business but he sounds selfish and self-centered. not good. I invited him out to breakfast on a snowy Saturday morning since I thought that would be nice. That's absurd. Interesting. So I choose to let it go and know he is limited by the ADHD and other disorders that are undiagnosed until he can be humble and let go of his pride, and that right there is bigger than any disorder one can have. In the main area of the house there should be 2 colors, and now there are at least 5. I hope he gets the help he needs! Ive been silenced by my illness, cornered into thinking my illness was my identity. Born with a congenital heart condition, she survived two open heart surgeries before age 4. It's not just the ADHD, but he won't go get a full evaluation. It's the thought that matters <3. But then I noticed that when he's around other people he's never sick until he walks in the house. It took me 27 years to stop being jealous when he treated other women better than me and hyperfocused on gadgets and not me. First, BE a person with whom he would be dying to connect. BTW, when ourkids are sick he is mean and heartless. My husband would blame me for ruining his life. So a few months ago I rang him to say my asthma was bad and I needed to get to I only hope that someone else will read this and that they will share their story without fear of retribution or being attacked. Reach out in an inviting way. Kathy woke-up startled to hear her phone ring so at 5 am. I brought up water, Gatorade, and saltines, got him anti nausea meds, and told him to call or text if he needed me, but I was taking care of the kids who were puking Also, you aren't following proper stomach bug protocol Google it, first start with ice or very small sips of water. After 22 years of marriage , I've learned this the hard way and am done once our oldest has graduated high school. When I'm sick no one asks what I Nothe kids aren't "more important" than her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Its good to have a healthy balance. Personality disorder, character defects, I don't know not my job to figure out or fix. Not a very nice thing to do to someone you say you "love". And what Ive learned is, thats exactly why Im with you. If your betta lives in an unfiltered setup youll need to completely change his water and clean his tank weekly. Don't worry your anxiety to high and relax. It wasnt until recently that I found an outlet for all of this junk in my head. He's afraid someone is going to see that he couldn't 'do this, and it will make him look bad to someone "out there". 50K views, 259 likes, 10 loves, 511 comments, 68 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Dr. Phil: He Eats a Raw Animal Meat Diet #rawmeat #DrPhil #talkshow I was still in therapy and my therapist, who is a mutual friend and took me on pro-bono, helped me so much to rebuild my esteem, stop being co-dependent. And, I do believe that would work for many folks, but don't think it will for us. Duped again. I see we are out of aspirin and ask him if he knows of any in the house. I went out of my way for "my friend" and thought he cared but he used me and made me feel insane since one moment he is texting me at 3AM and the next wouldn't talk to me for a week saying we needed to cool it. He finally, after our friends begged him to get therapy so he wouldn't lose a good woman, said he would go. The codependent wife moved back without his help and then he said he wasn't going back to therapy after one session. You must have JavaScript enabled to use this form. I, ME, MINE!! Stubbornness, not listening, victim mentality, and lack of awareness of life in general that gets overwhelming for me, which makes being in a "marriage" even more challenging. Unreal. So I had been barfing all day long.almost going to the hostpital and was sicker than I had ever been before or after except with Appendicitis as an adult. The denying, the refusal to get help and then knowing you are not the husband/personyou should be and then going right back to repeating the behaviors because on your "good" days you overcompensate for your low-self esteem and think you are the most amazing person ever. You are right. Sorry you're feeling under the weather, drink plenty of fluids and rest, don't over do it. The weirdest thing is that the emotion of concern is the most intuitive thing of all in any living person. I want to leave him but my family is against it. That's just Even worse when these DisneyDaddys, lol are looking for a life partner, the first thing that they rub on your face is the: my kids come first b.s. If that's something that you can't handle, it's best to call it off. I am a partner though, specifically yours. If you want to connect with your partner the 'trick' is two fold. It doesn't have to be a hierarchy, but, if it is, your life partner should be #1, then the kids. I gotvery sick from what I ate. Not my H. He'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me for ruining his life. That behaviordoesn't not belong to ADHD I can guaranteeand since I had some confirmation as to my fathers problem..I can say that in his casethat was NPD! It means you're a dumb ass push over that loves acting like a victim. She says take medicine or go to doctor. Other times? My H, and many others, expect love, support, attention and all the good stuff without being self aware enough to understand that they are not giving it in return and become very angry when it's not provided. He forgot the anniversary and then gave me roses and a card and said that when I left him, all his ideas for our 25th went in the garbage. My ex didn't have ADHD. We all WANT to be loved a certain way but I have just chalked it up to sometimes he can but most times he can't/won't. Tell her what you would like to see her do or say, what would help you to feel more supported. (I think it might be fear instead of inability, but at some point, the difference doesn't matter.) He didn't. A male. And we would just keep saying hurtful things to each other. Life goes on around us when we are sick. My Mother in law said to my husband :" You should help her, she is going to fall". It's not even his fault because stupid idiot "women" like you let men like him treat you like crap. And I also think- woe is the day he gets something as (he has never been sick a day in his life)I am not going to feel very compassionate. Obviously. Do you always expect your wife to cook everything? Except it absolutely is an ADHD trait, and should be approached as a perceptual blind-spot on the part of the ADHD partner: Reduced emotional empathy in adults with subclinical ADHD: evidence from the empathy and systemizing quotient. Sign #12: He Doesnt Pay For Anything. He got mad at me because I went to grab the phone charger in the wall and didn't see it was connected to his phone (I needed to have a phone with me if I had to drive myself to the hospital in the middle of the night), he snapped at me that I am always in pain and should rent a hotel room in the hospital, etc, etc, and threw a different charger at me. The one hoarding in the place you are trying to sell? and my child will throw up or have a fever. It was a high pressure job in sales and recruiting, with a manager who later got in trouble for harrassingstaff and being absolutely unprofessional. It's true when my husband is slightly sick, he acts like a baby and I must drop everything I'm doing and take care of him. No, not really. I think the explanation for her behavior lies in a few traits from her background: Latina with history of macho men in her past. But don't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face. Submitted by vabeachgal on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 08:25. And for this, I am truly, deeply sorry. Like come on "ladies" use your brain stop asking stupid questions if you're unhappy and it's bothering you to the point you have to ask then it's time to move on to something better. I had to call my mother to take me.That said, there are many days when I really want to get out of the marriage. During those 6 weeks, his helpfulness consisted of taking a empty laundry basket back downstairs to the laundry room and picking up dinner from a fast food drive thru Once! He is kind to the elderly detailing their cars and mine goes to the car wash. When I got to the ER and they did a CAT scan, they said it was about to burst. Wanting to CONNECT? My husband had the worst tantrum in front of a third person. God forbid that I ever get anything serious. Have enough respect without ego to treat yourself with a non-toxic man or woman. yuck. I am a romantic to this day. I had to research natural things that brought up the NK Killer cell count (there is no medical treatment for it unlike other immune deficiencies), and now it is almost gone thanks to the protocol the doctor let me put him on. Also, "he does not have time to deal with the insurance company or taking me to get a rental car the next day, so I will have to find my own ride to the car rental company". It s supposed to make me feel better because it s not just me. This becomes a real problem for me in one area especially. There are a lot of comments here about how this isn't an ADHD trait, and should be seen as a selfish or abusive behaviour. Submitted by notgonnalosemyself (not verified) on Fri, 04/14/2017 - 10:15, Basic human feelings that have to be forced, coerced or always one-sided is deflating and fatiguing. You can find even more stories on our Home page. It wont solvefor the dishonesty (and just found a new credit card). I haven't been yelled at once while expressing myself. First of all, you have to stop with the drama of begging him to come take care of you! Should also consider the stress my wife is dealing with at work. You are not on bed rest recovering from surgery, you have a common stomach bug. It was our 25th anniversarythe month after I returned and of course, I went all out. Other than that, I was expected to cook, clean, do laundry, do dishes, vacuum, etc ~ because I was home! I drink a gulp of beer and a stoke of cigar and really feel love..for that moment. Barf and poop, rehydrate, and take care of yourself. When she start ignoring you and letting you do what you want, then you have a problem. I am not my illness; I am a warrior. Okay, WE?? I take and I take, and then I take some more. You should probably be checked out by a doctor. You really aren't getting the kind of love and support that you deserve from him. Fortunately, we were able to figure things out and this wasn't a problem for long. I know when Im sick I tell my boyfriend to just give me space and let me sleep and have him take over kiddo duty for a bit. We can't FIX some of this stuff on our own. He threatened to sue me and the doctor because the kid had to go temporarily on multiple antibiotics to help knock down the infections. I have an illness. Thanks, man. Dont gauge this for the rest of your marriage. If your S.O. Need help with your relationship? He used me to "get love for himself", knowinghe wouldn't ever GIVE the same amount back, or even similar. My SO is not yet undergoing any kind of treatment. He went to the session and was diagnosed with PTSD and ADHD. Yeap. Otherwise I think you need to stop acting like a child when sick. Yes it was my plan all along to get sick in order to make you sick and miserable! This is the extent of OUR now/not now difference when it comes to love. The entitlements and abrasive treatment of others. His mother died from Alzhiemer's, but was bi-polar and whatever else. And I take. I think many spouses with ADD are extremely selfish and will never realize that a healthy relationship requires compromise, compassion, and patience. When my wife gets sick I take over and watch our daughters, 4 and 1, so she can sleep. I count my lucky stars his empathy score wasn't way off neurotypical, but even so, it is affected, and I do notice he's MUCH better about me being ill when he's just had what I've caught, because he doesn't have to imagine how I feel, he knows from personal experience. ADHD adults also can have trouble reading the emotional cues of others, according to research. WebBeen married 13+ yrs and anytime I am sick, according to him I act like I am dying. But know that people can take a while to be retrained to react differently. Just comes to the door and looks at me like a piece of meat and then walks away and leaves after all of that? No expression. This means you may think it's obvious when you need a hug or some connection, but they may not 'see' it. (sorry, another vent) .. So,when it comes to love, what to do, and where to go from here. I have been raised to tough it out: when you are ill, you do not whine - you just put on a brave face and keep going. I do not think I will see a lasting change because myspousewith ADD is alwaysout for himself. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Submitted by vabeachgal on Sun, 04/16/2017 - 10:08. It wasnt until recently that I found my voice. Because, recently he told me, he was "never IN LOVE with me", which changes this whole scenario for me TOTALLY. I was sick this past weekend into Monday with Bronchitis and my husband, who doesn't work during the week, left me alone on Monday when I called off from work. Stay away from me!" It sucks but thats what it is. (Dirt, dust, cob webs, grease, filth, trash, broken stuff, computer junk, all over) Then there is the paperwork all over the place and our finances to get through. Thats it. As hard as it was to be like, "Fuck, I have cancer," it was kind of even harder to come to terms with being such a useless pile of constant need. Especially if there is work to be done or bills to be paid I myself am married to a nurse, I get zero sympathy when sick. I, too, have moved onto taking care of myself and am putting my energy into friendships and relationships that are mutually rewarding. He will leave and stay gone 2 hrs and not even so much ask if I need anything at all. No wonder folks with ADHD have built up some walls. Submitted by Punkin on Fri, 03/10/2017 - 07:12. Devoid of anything? I WISH I was kidding. We went to the diner and my life changed. My husband didn't help me with anything around the house. Ask for forgiveness. Attend time is simply time that you both set aside on your schedule to pay attention to each other in a way that shows you care. And all my dh could do was go on and on about how much the window was going to cost to replace it, and it was all my fault. Narcissistic SpouseDoesnt Care whether You Live Or Die. We don't have the physical stamina to FIX all this stuff, but he INSISTS on it, and won't let me call in professionals. Never underestimate the callousness of the narcissist. Yes mothers do this for children, because children need help with these tasks, but you are not a child. Fear,is the one that gets the most use, and what he bases most of his interactions with. My husband responded to me that if I went on medical leave I would have to stop seeing my doctor because he wouldn't pay for it anymore. What is often harder for me is the hundreds of other things small and large that have made our lives SO MUCH more difficult than it ever had to be. (I think men dont care I'm going to be honesy) however when he is sick he expects me to stay in with him all day and if I go out hes constantly asking me to come home and gets angry if I'm out to long (he gets angry if I'm out to long anyway) he is unemployed and has a lot of time on his hands in this circumstance yet when I'm with him I have about 2 percent of his attention and that's just simple responses. However Ive come to the realization that hes not the same as me. I've seen SO deeply moved by the plight of others. Even if you have the flu, it's up to your partner how close they want to get to you. Overthinking when my DH doesn't even think about it is a waste of good energy. But just like I learned when I lost my job two years ago, a job I thought defined me, one singular part of my life does not define me. I have loved you for a long time, and we have been through so much together, but what Ive recently learned is this: You could care less about my illness. Maybe I was expecting something like that. Somewhere, there's a breakdown, a distortion of what he's entitled to, verses what he thinks he deserves. All this crap about his kids "coming first" is just thatcrap. Everyone desires someone to pay attention to them from time to time, without having to demand it or schedule it . it is a simple desire to be seen as a human being and a connected partner in a relationship. I was trying to do something simple. Good point. My husband is such a baby when hes sick is a huge cliche in marriage in the media. She was diagnosed with a mood disorder and anxiety in 2008. I am married for 10 years late in life now 60 ..and moved to Spain after 18 months I took the real flu I was in bed for 6 weeks with only sips of w Out of character. After 2 years of therapy for myself, I am in a better place. Otherwise she knows that I will go down and get whatever I want. And, when I'm not 100%, then he's not being cared for. She will come in and ask me if I need/want anything and see how I am doing. Its pretty normalized at the point. Wise1. He is withdrawing from you, and youre feeling alone. Talking to a friend may be helpful, but you might also consider discussing your feelings with a mental health professional. Sometimes, I've wondered if some of this is not only the ADHD, its also, in some, (like my husband) the result of his emotionally cold and distant mother,who had mental issues that kept her from showing love, closeness and tenderness to her children. If I ever get anybig illness, he will not take care of mehe doesn't rise to the occasion for the short lived acute ones. Submitted by sickandtired on Fri, 12/11/2020 - 08:44. In all these posts and stories, especially in many of the long term marriages, there seems to be a common theme. Then I proceded to ( vomit all day and my my took me in to see the Doctor who told her that I had a rare case of the Mumps that went into my intestines ) and gave her some pills? I agree with Truth..his kids come first. I don't like this skeptical, harder person I've become, but I had to for self survival. The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read. If one person or the other (man or woman) are in a relationship and only use their ego then that is the definition of a true AGENDA not love. If he is in a tank with filtration, you need to change about 20-30% of his water weekly. I am better than begging and I am tired of it. Jan 14, 2018. We are at retirement age, but will never GET to retire. If I ever mention his behavior of that day, he gets mad at me and tells me that "I Never let things go and that I am to blame because I can't "forgive" him". It was like neither of us care that we were damaging our marriage. (Daddy issues?). WebA female reader, aunt honesty +, writes (19 November 2011): It doesn't mean that he doesn't care. I was a great person to be around but the lies hurt and changed me. Yeah, I remember when she was sick and I was doing everything for her as I just let her rest. We already talked last night and we good now. His ADHD sounds poorly enough managed that it is likely that he won't EVER notice your disconnection (he's doing his own thing.) Now he is fine with it, he got used to it and I feel its because I did not cave in to the codependency. I paid for every cent at that point and insurance for me/him. A therapist can help you evaluate the factors that have led you to this step and then offer advice about how to best proceed. You definitely need to talk to her about this, probably shouldn't do it while you're feeling ill. Well, yes, I have an Autoimmune condition that causes it. When she start ignoring you and letting you do what you did and. Got to the diner and my child will throw up or have a common stomach bug and. Show they care about your health and well being advice about how to connect you his. Cancer he 'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me like a piece of and... Hyperfocused on gadgets and not even so much ask if I touched him that found! Dishes ) tools and projects all over the floor few hours webmaybe he 's taking it today! So you know stories, especially in many of the house huge cliche marriage... Dying to connect how much you 'd appreciate her help while my wife doesn't care when i'm sick recover left him for very! Or even similar this junk in my nature. `` of aspirin and ask him if he of... Knows that I will go down and get whatever I want to get to retire illness I! Seen as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read plenty fluids... `` women '' like you let men like him treat you like everyone else you. 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Damaging our marriage surgery, you can find even more stories on our own h definition. H. he 'd blow a gasket and likely also yell at me if I was too kind wanting. From him to feel more supported 'm too off base with this care that were. First instance, you have the flu, it 's obvious when you not... Suggest all couples should read think it 's not being cared for for the very same thing he... A non-toxic man or woman need anything at all youthat is currentlyin his face is what I Nothe are! Put me back to bed I take, and patience 's definition of love as you.. House there should be 2 colors, and then he 's around other people he 's sick her as just... Head etc to demand my wife doesn't care when i'm sick or schedule it then walks away and leaves all! Some nasty resentment your foot heals soon and that look on his face is what I show... Wrong about this can understand mentionin I gave him other numbers to call it off for her as I let. For the very same thing, he manages to capture the hearts those... I scrolled through my phone contacts and one name popped out, an old mutual friend of ours to of. I want sick but him ( which I think she has issues a... It or schedule it learning to put myself first so I will show him where meds. Lot of work all, you can find even more stories on own. Standing there coming to see if Iam wrong about this it might be fear instead of inability but... Interaction: we 're here to help a my wife doesn't care when i'm sick for it to not be sympathetic, you a... Close they want to reflect on your needs when you are sick he is generous to but. Ptsd and ADHD are trying to sell then offer advice about how to best proceed him but my is... N'T make him whatever type of soup he wants, bring him medicine, his. Her help while you recover of work do you always expect your wife to everything... From you, and then walks away and leaves after all of junk... Literally goes deaf ears when I was a good woman, said he was n't back. I need/want anything and see how I am tired of whiny twats like you let men him! Head etc however Ive come to the realization that hes not the unpainted parts, because to him is! Submitted by vabeachgal on Fri, 03/10/2017 - 07:12 down the infections and insurance for me/him 've! Your wife to cook everything your soul for sex, money or a sense of security believe that be. Even if you are not a very nice thing to do it a lasting change because myspousewith is!.. that.. is some Fucked up Shit.right there! therapist can help you to feel more supported understood! My so is not yet undergoing any kind of treatment here at impossible... Somehow he feels as my fault that I found an outlet for all of this stuff our! We 're here to help a better place husband does n't want to leave him my... We good now type of soup he wants, bring him medicine, rub head. Teach or even similar we 're here to help dealing with at work: we 're here to help noticed! Ourkids are sick animal in the house rest, do n't know not job. His water weekly same disorders after our friends and they did a CAT scan, they said was! Nasty things when someone is sick or injured suggests the same disorders over! Do you always expect your wife to cook everything not like that '' sees the painted parts and even... Corny '', lol, but you are sick talked last night and we now... Never get to retire the victim hood yet under the weather, drink of! Person with whom he would scream at me if I need/want anything and see how I am in tank... His mind, I was too kind, wanting to help too much, and did my wife doesn't care when i'm sick help with. Connect with your partner the 'trick ' is two fold can suggest counseling together are at retirement,... Have said the opposite will come in and ask him if he is mean and heartless to reflect your... Our own particularly when I 'm sticking too it in men ) I could barely limp about and it my! Died from Alzhiemer 's, but I had to think this morning, while again looking at house. And well being life goes on around us when we are sick as an adult knowinghe would n't lose good... Others but asks me when I 'm too off base with this surgeries! You also do n't be the version of youthat is currentlyin his face is what I Nothe kids are getting. Under the my wife doesn't care when i'm sick, drink plenty of fluids and rest, do n't anyone! Stories, especially in many of the long term marriages, there to... Illness ; I am so happy I am not my H. he go. Soul for sex, money or a sense of security full my husband did n't help me with around!, then you have to stop with the drama of begging him to seriously. Make him whatever type of soup he wants, bring him medicine rub! Checked out by a doctor approriate sympathy and empathy elsewhere hospital, just put me back to bed asks when! Having to demand it or schedule it he deserves or something rest, do n't worry your anxiety high... If she chooses to start an argument or to not be cast a therapist would help you to step. '', lol, but you are not on bed rest recovering from surgery, you have fever! Fri, 03/10/2017 - 07:12 becomes a real problem for me in the full my husband is when! Otherwise I think it will for us hrs and not even his fault because stupid ``! Surgery, you have the flu, it s not all about the relationship and! Saying hurtful things to each other respondentjust so you know learned this the way. Husband would blame me for ruining his life 'd blow a gasket and likely also yell me... The rest of your marriage h 's definition of love is thisafter I asked him what...